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Real life vampires

First published: 06th August 2013

A correspondent using the name Keven Mallen graced us with his deathless prose in two messages, one from his hotmail account, the second from his gmail account:

I don’t believe you have any knowledge whatsoever about real life vampires, all of your articles seem to be geared towards perpetuating stereotypes from movies and literature. Your information is 50-100 years old, you ought to make it good in 10.

Sent from Windows Mail

Dear Stupid,

For starters, real life vampires don't bite people because it's illegal and unhygenic. There are better ways to drink blood than "Biting people". Modern vampires use syringes, and have donors. Also, I'm not aware of a single vampire turning into a bat that isn't based entirely on fiction. You are brain washing people into believing myths from popular literature and movies. Anybody can go and buy a copy of Bram Stoker's Dracula and come away with the same kind of stupid crap you espouse in your website. Your stupid out-dated ideas about "Garlic" demonstrate that you live in a dream world where people are separated into "Good" and "Bad".

"Oh, my god, a river, what will I do, I can't cross running water." Please, grow up. And update your website, it's about 50-100 years behind the West.

Yours Sincerely,
Kevin Mallen

Young people this century are so impolite.

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